Do You Have Genuine Connection or Are You Just Playing with Each Other?

How we can tell the difference

Katrina Bos
4 min readFeb 12, 2021

“Thunder only happens when it’s raining.
Players only love you when they’re playing.”

Fleetwood Mac, Dreams

Casting for the Play

When I heard the lyrics to this song by Fleetwood Mac yesterday, so many relationships started making sense.

We often have an idea of what we want in a relationship ahead of time. Then, we go out into the world to find someone who will play the role. This could be wanting a dominant or submissive personality. They may need to look a certain way. They may need to have a certain kind of job or family. They may need to have certain quirks, fetishes, interests, or they mustn’t have any of them.

We know who we are looking for because it is like we are casting for a play.

When we find the person whom we “love”, we begin to play out our script. If they don’t act a certain way, we give them their lines. If they aren’t putting enough passion into their part, we encourage them to put more into it.

When things don’t go quite the way we hoped, perhaps, we discover that they too have their own script and we have a designated role to play for them as well. They also have lines that they would…



Katrina Bos

Tantra teacher・Mathematician・Free-spirit・Mystic Heart・Author・Exploring this amazing world. For more details: