Does Controlling Our Emotions Lead to True Happiness?

It seems contrary to pop-culture… but what if it’s true?

I’ve been thinking a lot about not allowing emotions to run wild inside of me these days — about the benefits of living within rational thought and seeing the world through purely sober eyes.

I have been reading the works of ascended masters and one thing that intrigues me is their insistence on controlling emotions. They teach to control the body, the mind, and then the heart.

For me, I have spent the last 20 years learning to listen to my emotions. I had always suppressed them which was actually causing me great sadness and I ended up making choices that really weren’t in my best interest. So, I don’t want to suppress them any longer. I want to feel what I feel to help guide me… because my emotions express my truth.

Aha! Here is the rub!

My emotions were needed to express my truth. That is what I was actually oppressing. Because of that, my body and mind became a cavalcade of chaos and stress because I wasn’t living my true life. In order to walk in that false path, I had to tell myself stories about my world that weren’t true — in fact, I needed to repeat them over and over to others as well.

Until one day, the levy broke, and the power of the emotions burst forth and I told the truth.

So, what if our philosophy first said that we must always tell the truth? What if we were honest all of the time regardless of the possible consequences?

Aha! Here is where the emotional trap comes in again! Are we telling white lies (or bigger ones) because we are afraid of what someone else might think? Are our fears controlling our decisions? Are we afraid of being left alone? Are we afraid of conflict? Are we afraid to tell the truth in case someone thinks that we are weird, crazy, or unintelligent?

What if we shifted our philosophy to not fear abandonment, conflict, or the reactions of others? Perhaps, then, we would be able to just tell the truth to our spouse, friends, colleagues, boss, parents, and children.

Hmm. That feels calmer.

One of the reasons they teach that emotions must be controlled is because when we are emotional, all rational thought is clouded. We literally cannot think straight. We just get lost in the chaos of the emotional flurry.

How true is this? When we are afraid, we cannot think. When we are righteous, we are consumed by it. When we are grieving, nothing else exists. When we are angry, proud, guilty, and ashamed, our rational mind is unable to see anything clearly.

And what is the nature of our lives during those emotional times? For me, it’s horrible. I am not happy or content or expansive. I am consumed and flying down rabbit holes everywhere. I have told myself that at least I’m feeling something — that I’m not a robot walking through life — and that this emotional rollercoaster is normal.

But is it? I am seriously questioning whether it makes me happy at all.

My first teacher taught that there are only two real emotions — happy and sad. When you are faced with a question, your heart will either lift (happy) or drop (sad). This is the mechanism to hear our truth at any moment.

What if we really listened to those? What if we just honoured our truth in every moment? Perhaps rational thought would be easier.

What if, when we feel anger, instead of getting lost in it, we seriously acknowledge the feeling and take action? If we feel righteous, we look within to explore why we feel we are right and others are wrong. Then, we can see if there is something we can do to change things or help.

What if we knew that when these emotions rose, we would definitely honour them with attention and action? So, we could let the emotion go.

These teachers do not consider love and happiness an emotion to be controlled. These are our natural states of being. They are ease and how we lovingly connect with each other.

In both cases, if we are reaching for it, needing it, etc, then this tells us something else — that fearful emotions are actually controlling us — so we need to look at that.

But, living this way is not without heart or feeling. It’s actually the opposite. We can easily walk through life simply loving others. We can be kind and have amazingly loving connections with each other.

The key is to seriously look at our emotional responses to the world. Are they helping? Are they hindering? Are they causing us to fill our days with emotional angst?

I am looking at this seriously these days. Just telling the truth right away and then enjoying the world through rational, but very loving eyes.

So far, I like it a lot.

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Tantra teacher・Mother・Friend・Free-spirit・Mystic Heart・Author・Exploring this amazing world. For more details: katrinabos.ca

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