Which Makes Us Happier — Control or Surrender?

For me, I know it’s surrender… I just have to remember

Katrina Bos

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Finding peace these days is quite a journey. It is a balancing act of being aware of what is happening, what is within my control, knowing my own Truth, and then surrendering it all to trust that something much greater is guiding this ship.

But surrender has not been easy for me. I have trusted my mind to a fault in my life. I have believed that I know better. I now know that this is only true when I’ve oversimplified my understanding.

I came across this snippet from What If You Could Skip the Cancer? about an experience I had back in 1995. I needed to have the reminder myself… so I thought I would share it here as well.

One winter day, I was driving to work. I lived out in the country and the roads were really icy and snow-covered. At one point, I was heading down a steep hill and I lost control of my car. I tried to correct and counter-steer but I was on a sheet of ice. There was nothing I could do. I realized that I might die. But I also realized that I had no control over that, and then the strangest thing happened. Time seemed to slow down. I felt no fear. I was completely peaceful. I wasn’t even afraid of dying.

I put one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on my stomach (I was six months pregnant at the time), and I closed my eyes. The car careened off the road, over an eight-foot drop, hit a fencepost in midair, and landed in a farmer’s field. Once the car stopped moving, I opened my eyes. The windshield was completely smashed. The crumple zone at the front of the car was completely crumpled. And the car was actually still running. I sat there for a moment amazed that I was still alive and extremely grateful. Then I turned the car off, got into a passing truck, which took me home, jumped into my in-laws’ K-car, and headed off to work again.

The experience didn’t even shake me. I had no fear attached to it at all. It amazed me how calm and serene the whole experience had been.

Then, a few days later, I heard someone on the radio talking about Psalm 23. He said it was all about letting go of control in your life and feeling the overwhelming peace that brings.

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Katrina Bos

Tantra teacher・Mathematician・Free-spirit・Mystic Heart・Author・Exploring this amazing world. For more details: katrinabos.ca